It is by Grace that I came in contact with the Mother
of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in my youth when she visited my village
Veerampattinam, four miles off
By doing the work with sincerity and devotion as the
Mother’s own work, I began to get experiences. By Her Grace my soul or psychic
being opened after five years of Ashram-life. Since then the psychic being has
been growing; I feel always the Mother’s presence in my heart. From time to
time various kinds of spiritual experiences have come, one after another. In my
63rd year, I had a flood of spiritual experiences and visions soon after I sat
in meditation in Sri Aurobindo’s Room on my birthday, sat along with fellow
disciples and devotees whose birthday coincided with mine. Then in the next
year, when I meditated in my own room on my sixty-fourth birthday (24 July 76)
at 12 noon, the Grace of the Divine Mother descended and entered into the depth
of my mid-forehead. She came in the form of a Luminous Young Child—Bala, in the
same form as when she had been about seven years old—and opened the Chakra on
the top of head, the Sahasrara, giving rise to wonderful visions and
experiences.
I feel that these are purely a gift of the Grace of our
Divine Mother, and not at all due to any merits or qualifications of sadhana.
The experiences have continued and developed since then and especially in my
midnight meditation between 2 and 3 a.m. soon after the experiences, the Grace
comes in the form of Tamil poetry in which they get expressed. Below I am
giving in English some recent experiences in the order in which they came.
The Divine Mother lit the light of a Lamp burning in
the middle of my forehead. It is a Light that extended, with its flaming heat,
in all directions.
In the depth of a silence beyond mind and heart, I
found the pure flame of Truth blazing in its intensity. As a bud blossoms
unfolding its petals all around, so the inner consciousness blossomed and
expanded in that profound silence.
In lonely consciousness again, I realized the Divine
Mother, the Consciousness of all consciousness, manifesting Herself as a
luminous young child—Bala. I became one with Her in consciousness.
My uvula curved upwards and tasted the oozing Amrita (Nectar)
of Grace. The thousand-petalled lotus opened itself. I sensed its subtle
fragrance full of Grace.
The lid of Brahmarandhra (Aperture of Brahman) opened
itself. The last vestige of the ego was dissolved. A flood of Light entered in
from above. I became absorbed in Bliss, the most precious gift of the Mother.
The infinite pure Consciousness and the Self were realised.
The bond of birth and death has been broken and with
that the dualities of pleasure and pain, sorrow and happiness were cancelled.
The being has become free by realising the Light of Consciousness which is the
voice of the Veda.
Presented by Srikant Jivarajani who found these writings of Gangadharan in some of his old papers
