In the firmament of the
Ashram-poetry Jyotirmoyee was the most notable among the poetesses. Her fame
was no longer restricted within the Ashram but had spread to
A Beauty Infinite
A Beauty infinite, an unborn Power
On Time’s vast forehead drew her
mystic line,
An unseen Radiance filled the
primal hour,—
First script, creation’s early
rapture-wine
Lightning in Night the eternal
moment wrote.
Her lone eyes bathed in hue of
loveliness
Saw on a flaming stream a single boat
Follow through dawn some great
Sun’s orbit-trace.
The Dawn-world flashed—torn was the
heart of Night.
Why came then Dawn here with her
cloud and surge?
Darkness erased the hint of
new-born Light,—
Till suddenly quivered above the
pilgrim Urge,
Its flower-ear washed blood-red.
Smile of the Moon,
And, held in her hand, a
Sun-flute’s golden croon.
We also find Jyotirmoyee finding
place in the correspondence Nirodbaran had with Sri Aurobindo. Excerpts of some
of those are quoted beneath:
Nirodbaran: Jyotirmoyee wrote in a
poem “Millions of stars are swaying in rhythm/And, sparkling, pour their
diamonds:/They are bent downward in self-oblivious ecstasy.” X says: “How can
stars be bent?” So he okayed it to dhrubo
dipon dhāra (in a steadfast stream of illumination), whereas J declared
that she wrote it because she experienced one night as if the stars were
bending down.
Sri Aurobindo: dhrubo dipon dhāra is no doubt good poetry and very good poetry but
is a purely external image and gives no subjective vibration, while J’s line
does. The objection that stars do not get noto
[bent] stands only if the poem describes objective phenomena or aims at using
purely objective images. But if the vision behind the poem is subjective, the
objection holds no longer. The mystic subjective vision admits a consciousness
in physical things and gives them a subtle physical life which is not that of
the material existence. If a consciousness is felt in the stars and if that
consciousness expresses itself in subtle physical images to the vision of the
past, there can be no improbability of a star being noto—such expressions attribute a mystical life to the stars and
can appropriately express this in mystic images. I agree with you about the
fineness of the line.
Nirodbaran: X says: “This may not
be an experience at all, and who knows if it is not an imagination, and how are
we to know which is which?”
Sri Aurobindo: But is it necessary
to say which is which? It is not possible to deny that it was an experience,
even if one cannot affirm it—not being in the consciousness of the writer. But
even if it is an imagination, it is a powerful poetic imagination which
expresses what would be the exact feeling in the real experience. It seems to
me that that is quite enough. There are so many things in Wordsworth and Shelley
which people say were only mental feelings and imaginations and yet they
express the deeper seeings or feelings of the seer. For poetry it seems to me
the point is irrelevant. (27 May 1936) [1]
Nirodbaran: When Jyotirmoyee was
asked to compose songs the other day, we found a sudden transformation. How was
this brought about? And what did she do?
Sri Aurobindo: Opened the lyrical
gift in her probably—began knocking for the spontaneous song in place of the
mind-made article.
But, my dear sir, it often happens
like that. I believe you were not here when Dilip’s poetry blossomed; but it
was quite as sudden. Remember Tagore’s description of him as the cripple who
suddenly threw away his crutches and began to run and his astonishment at the
miracle. Nishikanto came out in much the same way, a sudden
Nirodbaran: I refuse to believe she
did it herself.
Sri Aurobindo: Of course she
didn’t…It is a way of speaking.
Nirodbaran: I would like to know
how you have done it.
Sri Aurobindo: Well if you think I
knew how it’s done! I hammer about till I hit the right spot. It hits quick
sometimes, that’s all. Note however that there was always in Jyotirmoyee
something that wanted or claimed to belong to another world. Perhaps by the
pressure she got into contact with it. (23 August 1936) [2]
Nirodbaran: Jyotirmoyee, you know,
was no better than an infant and she ran equal with me in poetry, didn’t she?
All of a sudden see where she is!
Sri Aurobindo: Because there are
infants and infants. Some grow quick, others slowly.
Nirodbaran: She has not only caught
the animal whole and alive, but most marvellously and rapidly, while I have not
been able to catch even a hair of the tail!
Sri Aurobindo: My dear sir, she let
the inspiration through and didn’t mind whether she understood it or not—or at
least if she did mind, it didn’t stop her from pulling it.
Nirodbaran: She has written 4
sonnets today, and each one better than my single production of 2 or 3 days’
labour! How?
Sri Aurobindo: Because of your mind
which is active. (5 December 1936) [3]
Nirodbaran: Who are the two, by the
way, for whom you have to write explanations from set to dawn? One is my
precious self?
Sri Aurobindo: Yes.
Nirodbaran: And the other is Jyoti?
Sri Aurobindo: Yes. I have to
explain for her also.
Nirodbaran: But she is not a
surrealist!
Sri Aurobindo: Surrealist or
symbolist, it comes to the same so far as need for explanation goes. (1 March
1937) [4]
In the late 1930s, Jyotirmoyee paid
a visit to
Jyotirmoyee returned to
And again on 19 August 1940
Nirodbaran told Sri Aurobindo: “Ajit [Chakravarty] likes Jyoti’s prose better
than her poetry.” Sri Aurobindo replied: “That is because her prose may be more
mature. Her poetry is brilliant, but not mature enough.” [6]
Despite all the encouragement and
inspiration she received from her Gurus and her co-disciples, there was a sense
of “something missing” in Jyotirmoyee. She would have, like many other inmates,
occasional fits of depression during which she would toy with the idea of
leaving the Ashram. During one such occasion, Nirodbaran wrote (on 22 January
1936) to Sri Aurobindo:
Nirodbaran: Jyotirmoyee says she
has been feeling lonely terribly for the last few days, had a terrible impulse
to go away.
Sri Aurobindo: The usual terrible
seems to have come simultaneously to you, D [Dilip?] and her leaving some
others.
Nirodbaran: She says that if it
happens off and on, it would be a hard job to stick.
Sri Aurobindo: Some people had it
terribly once a week or even once a day for months together, yet they stuck and
got stuck.
Nirodbaran: But what is this
loneliness due to? Her isolation?
Sri Aurobindo: No way. It is the
usual hubbub of the vital… Nothing to do with isolation. Many isolated people
don’t feel lonely at all. [7]
Jyotirmoyee had expected to lead a
peaceful life consecrated only to the Divine but it was not destined to be so.
Through Dilip Kumar Roy, she was introduced to Birendra Kishore Raichowdhury,
who was a devotee of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother and had made a name for
himself as a veenā-player. An extremely handsome Zamindar who belonged to the
Raichowdhury family of Gauripur in Mymensingh, he was a friend of Dilip Kumar
who was instrumental in bringing him to the Ashram. In an unfortunate hour
Birendra Kishore met Jyotirmoyee. The word ‘unfortunate’ has been used
deliberately, for this meeting was to change the course of Jyotirmoyee’s life.
Birendra Kishore, who had an unhappy married life, fell in love with her and
proposed marriage to her. For a number of years she continued to refuse
Birendra Kishore’s repeated proposals of marriage but at one point of time, she
too fell in love with him and both of them decided to tie the knot. When she
was informed of Jyotirmoyee’s romantic involvement, the Mother warned her of
undesirable consequences but Jyotirmoyee, despite having immense faith in the
Mother, could not terminate her feelings for Birendra Kishore and left the
Ashram sometime in 1942. She didn’t want to leave but it was the attraction of
Birendra Kishore that compelled her to leave the land of bliss.
Birendra Kishore brought
Jyotirmoyee to
Two years went by. Gradually,
Jyotirmoyee observed that Birendra Kishore had begun to reduce his visits to
her residence at New Alipore. At last she decided to have a direct
confrontation with Birendra Kishore and when he paid her a visit, she told him
that if she was not given the due recognition and respect which she deserved as
his wife she would leave his residence and go elsewhere.
Birendra Kishore replied: “If you
want to go, you’re most welcome. Who’s stopping you?”
Jyotirmoyee said: “You give me
divorce. I want my liberty back.”
A stunning answer came from
Birendra Kishore’s lips: “When did I marry you that you ask for a divorce? I’m
giving you plenty of money, I’ve provided you with all the luxuries of life. If
you’re still dissatisfied then I can’t help it.”
Jyotirmoyee could see that her
world of sweet dreams and happiness was swaying. She said to Birendra Kishore:
“How dare you insult me like this! Am I your concubine?”
Birendra Kishore replied with a
smile: “Then do you think you are my legally wedded wife?”
Within a fraction of a second
Jyotirmoyee’s world changed. All her dreams were shattered. She understood that
she had committed the greatest mistake of her life by marrying Birendra
Kishore. One night, she left the residence at New Alipore secretly. But where
would she go? Who would accept her now? She decided to return to
For a number of years there was no
trace of Jyotirmoyee. Suddenly one day, she visited Pratibha Bose at her
residence some time after the partition of
“I thought you have gone back to
the Ashram.”
“Do you think it is easy to go back
if you want? ... If you commit a sin, won’t you to atone it?”
“What sin have you committed?”
“I had pampered a sinner. (Pointing
towards the idol of Buddha) This Lord of mine whom you think only as a statue
has kept me alive. Whenever I feel very sad for that man [meaning Birendra
Kishore], I hold this idol close to my breast and I feel consoled.”
“You still feel sad for your
husband despite all the insults he has inflicted upon you?”
“You are the wife of such a
renowned writer, you are also an author and yet you don’t know what love
means?”’ [8]
Pratibha Devi understood that
Jyotirmoyee still loved Birendra Kishore dearly. “Love just happens,”
Jyotirmoyee remarked to her. Then she made a strange request: “Can you give me
a petticoat? Mine is torn; all my clothes are torn—can you give me an old
petticoat of yours?” Pratibha Devi gave her what she craved. Then Jyotirmoyee
asked: “Can you give me something to eat? I’m very hungry.” As soon as she
finished the food that was offered to her, Jyotirmoyee left Pratibha Bose’s
place. Pratibha Bose understood that Jyotirmoyee had lost her mental
balance.
Three years later when the Boses’
were staying at
Birendra Kishore’s betrayal had
caused a permanent damage to Jyotirmoyee’s mental health due to which she
gradually became mentally deranged. Once she went back to her hometown, the
One night Jyotirmoyee’s mother
rushed to her son Moni’s bedroom and said that Jyotirmoyee wanted to kill her.
“She is threatening me with a dagger. She wants the gold anklet that she had
seen me wearing years ago. What should I do?” Moni pondered for a while about
the future course of action. What he decided is not known but soon after
Jyotirmoyee was seen leaving her paternal house with a sad face. She had lost
the shelter her family had provided to her.
Jyotirmoyee left for an unknown
destination all alone. She knew not where to go—in front of her lay the path
towards uncertainty. She began to wander here and there and occasionally penned
letters to her brother Moni from Benaras,
In 1973 Jyotirmoyee was again seen
at the residence of Krishna Barua, Sunanda’s elder sister, whom she used to
lovingly address as ‘Tuntun’. She called her niece by that name and asked for
some food. She relished the food that was served to her. Sunanda, who was also
present there, introduced herself to Jyotirmoyee. Jyotirmoyee said: “I thought
you were Indira.” (Indira was the wife of Sunanda’s cousin.) As soon as she
finished her food, she left without a word.
In 1974 Jyotirmoyee was spotted by
Esha Mukherjee, Dilip Kumar Roy’s niece. At that time, Jyotirmoyee’s address
during the daytime was the footpaths of
“I was extremely happy…for having
been given Jyotirmoyee as my guardian…We had grown very fond of each other even
though she was almost my mother’s age. She called me ‘Ma Moni’ (jewel of a
daughter), and I called her ‘Jyoti Masi’ (Aunty).” [11]
Esha contacted a brother of
Jyotirmoyee and after informing him about her plight, requested him to bring
her to his house. The reply she received was: “Is she an illiterate lunatic?”
It implied that if Jyotirmoyee wanted she herself could have returned home but
she didn’t want to do so.
How could she return? She had lost
everything! All her life she craved nothing but LOVE. It was the same love
about which Sri Aurobindo has written in Savitri:
…Love is the bright link twixt
earth and heaven,
Love is the far Transcendent’s
angel here;
Love is man’s lien on the Absolute.
And again:
It must change its human ways to
ways divine,
Yet keep its sovereignty of earthly
bliss.’
To her, love was not merely a part
of life but it was the heart of her life. But what did she gain in return?
Nothing—except pain, suffering, tears and disappearance into oblivion. She
considered herself to be a ‘sinner’ for she had, in her own words, ‘pampered a
sinner’ and had left the Ashram and aegis of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother which
was indeed a heaven-like place on earth. She had joined the Ashram with the
aspiration for a higher life; the grace of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother brought
her psychic being to the front as a result of which the poetess in her
blossomed. Her marvellous mystic poems resulted her being compared with
Mallarmé. She achieved fame as an author and poetess but one decision made her
lose everything—fame, mental balance and above all, the very meaning of
life.
In 1976, Jyotirmoyee at last found
a shelter where she could spend the last years of her life peacefully. It was
the
Some months later on 14 November
1981, Jyotirmoyee breathed her last. At last the soul was freed from the body
which suffered infinitely. For her, death was not the dark, unknown world; it
was the medium of liberation—MUKTI!
The author would like to thank
Shrimati Bani and Dolly Mutsuddi of Sri Aurobindo Ashram for providing to him
important inputs about the life of Jyotirmoyee, and her photographs.
References
[1] Nirodbaran, Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo, pp.
271-272
[2] Ibid., pp. 306-307
[3] Ibid., Mother India,
August 1981, pp. 441-442
[4] Ibid., Mother India,
September 1981, p. 444
[5] Nirodbaran, Talks with Sri Aurobindo, Volume IV, p. 167
[6] Ibid., p. 183
[7] Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo., Mother India, September 1982, p. 565
[8] Lekhika Jyotirmoyee Devi
[9] Sunanda Barua, Ekdin torikhana themechilo ei ghate lege
[10] Nirodbaran, “An Extraordinary Girl”, p. 23
[11] Ibid., p. 41